Prayer: A Struggle for Control

Admittedly, through nearly twenty-four years of full-time ministry, I have not often viewed prayer as something I enjoy. Of course, I know I am “supposed” to pray, but I struggle with a temperament compelled to action. Surely, I am not alone.

With a desire to advance in this critical area of my life/ministry, I have recently turned to Philip Yancey and his work, Prayer: Does It Make Any Difference (Zondervan, 2006). Written by one who states that his “main qualification for writing about prayer is that I feel unqualified-and genuinely want to learn,” the book offers a refreshingly balanced assessment of the subject: of all that prayer is, is not and still can be for those, like me, who are not yet satisfied.

One section entitled “Guilty” has me thinking. There, Yancey reminds that God asked only two questions of Adam and Eve: Where are you? What is this you have done?

The first question, he notes, addresses our present reality. Are we attempting to hide, feeling exposed, suffering from guilt or shame, the hurt and rejection of others, or perhaps even angry with God due to unmet expectations, etc.?

The second question recalls the past and, if we are honest, provides an opportunity for proper assessment of what exactly has brought us here.

Having answered these questions before God, we are prepared to leave the garden (of prayer) newly clothed and rightly positioned for the journey ahead.

In other words, authentic prayer is that excerise through which I realign myself with God; through which I again admit, “Thou art the Potter, I am the clay.” Prayer compels me, therefore, to cease from striving to control, and to will myself to be controlled by the One who not only knows me best, but who is, truly, about what is best for me.

Perhaps prayer, then, is time to answer once again the question, “Do I really believe that?”

Comments

[allen]

Related to giving up control... I've found it useful lately to try to make the Lord's prayer intensely personal. Especially the line "your will be done." In the past, I might have just generically prayed that line, but it's taken new meaning for me when I pray "your will not mine in my spending of money"... "your will not mine in how I relate to so and so"... "your will not mine on... etc.. etc" The list of these can go on and on and can get powerful and personal. It is course-changing to look closely at my will (revealed in my current thinking and actions) juxtaposed with what I sense His will is.

I'm curious, since you love to write, do you write out your prayers? I find that even when I am in a crowd of people at the coffee shop, my "closet" of prayer is found in writing or typing out prayers to God.